11.18.08

Today was nothing short of routine.
woke up late, rushed to get to work, came home and ate dinner with the family.

watched 90210 tonight, a complete waste of an hour.

then decided to quite wrestling with my spirit
and decided to put on some worship tunes,
heaven invaded my room and completely broke through
the walls i have been trying to hide around.

sometimes i get anti - social with people and friends
and i even get anti - worship to God. where honestly i dont want to read the word. its like i kinda get bored.

how you may ask? when god is so wonderful. When he died for you.
Well i guess you are right, i AM NOT your perfect christian.

i am human, and i am selfish. and sometimes i forget what life is all about
because i get so consumed with what needs to be done and what is not going my way,

that i completely forget who i am in christ and where i have been delievered from.
the devil is powerful and witty. and is a complete asshole.

he gets on my nerves and i just cant wait for the day when we can all punch him in the face and send him back to hell.

i just realize how completely random i am and i do apologize : ]
haha.

tonight was a serious break through, i feel so much better after spending just a short time in the spirit of the lord. Its healing to the wounds i have created, its peace to the war that was going on in my spirit, its the fire in my bones, and the purpose in my heart. I LOVE JESUS. and I LOVE WORSHIP.

im so glad that i serve a God who is faithful and a God who is merciful and whos grace covers everything. even my selfishness.! i am so thankful that i am loved by a God who loves me even when i abandon him and ignore him.

and a God who ALWAYS forgives and forgets.

<3

this is what i wrote tonight in the spirit.

do you even hear my voice
hear the cries from the inside
its like im searching for someone
whos not even there

You said you would never leave
well, if thats true then why do you feel so far from my reach

My mind is racing
thoughts are overloading
my life has become just one distraction
after another

do you even hear my voice
through all the static in the air?

i was ignorant to think
i could live my life on my own

walking with pride
left me powerless

So i fall to my knees
look up into the heavens
where my help comes from
Im crying out
humbling myself before your throne

Bring your fire
Bring your truth
Bring your peace

Bring your fire.........

and set this heart ablaze

For my heart it beats
Beats for only you.
My heart is yours
My heart burns for only you.

Jesus.pulled me out of darkness
and into the light
i was never alone
i was never alone.